04 February, 2016

On the minds of Indians. At least 90%.

I'm going to throw light upon changes that are needed in our society. But who the heck has the time to listen to this monologue on changes? So I'm going to mix it up and convey it in as humorous as possible by my standards, AT LEAST.

What's an Indian without relatives?

The first thing  this long distant relative asks you when they see you, "Lost/Gained Weight?" No maternal uncle's paternal grandfather's third cousin, you just lost the respect I might have considered having for you.
The moment relatives hear or see you cook or work out, "Wedding Bells are ringing eh?" How about I like food but don't want to become obese?

20+ and Single, Relatives get all excited, start looking for possible grooms and brides. Same religion, caste, sub caste, sub sub caste, but not same family of course!, we are in the 21st century. Please.

25+ and Single. Relatives get panic attack, try talking about their neighbour's cousin's uncle's grandchild living half a world away. Because foreign countries = Money earning potential foreign souvenirs when the married couple visit.

30+ and Single. Relatives, "Woh Lesbian or Gay ho gaya. Chood dho. You know when I was your age I had three children?"


These are the same relatives who ask for your board marks, the ones who forgot to wish you for your birthday. Maybe once, try asking them their board marks. Please Uncle.

Double standards is probably prevelant everywhere. Right from home.
Male member of family walks in hours late, no one bats an eyelid. Female member walks in 0:01 minutes late, everyone loses their mind, and the female loses her freedom.

It's funny how everything is okay when you go out with the same gender friend, "group(grope) studying", " sleepover", or simply going over. But when it's opposite gender, then we see the sticks breaking. 30+ and single scenarios preferred by Indian parents. Maybe.

I personally hail from a house that produces maximum male child. I literally have 3 second cousins and one cousin who are girls. And about 30 second cousins plus 3 cousins who are males. So at this point, everyone in my family is used to me hanging out with boys. All the time. But the "society" isn't the same. They see me with 20 other boys, who are my cousins. They loose their shit. Calm down. They are my brothers. *Annaga da*

But seriously. With boys around, I need to worry about clothes covering my body parts, but the thing with girls, I need to worry about the type and texture of clothes covering my body parts.

While we are in the sensitive subject of body parts, let me make it more uncomfortable. Imagine 10 pm- 11pm on a Friday, Saturday or a Sunday night. You go past a road. You see gangs of boys standing on the sides of roads, some on bikes some in cars, some walking by and some women heavily clad in make up and not so much in clothes. You go past them, reach home or wherever you intended to go.
What do you remember from this? The women. Ofcourse. I don't dare ask you as to what you thought of her. Surely, the men who were on the very same road oogling at her did not strike your mind. That's the basic fault with our society.

Finally to the crucial part, the roads. We as Indians have zero road sense. What do we do when we see an ambulance? Give way. Sure. Let me just agree to that. But firstly we panic and half of us just stop wherever we are. Left lane, right lane, or the middle. (Yes, roads are supposed to have 6 lanes counting both sides, we are still in dream land of stopping while we see ambulances aren't we? But who am I kidding, half our streets have lesser width than a single lane) The fastest moving lane is the right where bikes and scooter are supposed to  travel in. The middle is for sedans. And the left, which is next to the pavement, atleast when the shops and encroachments have been lifted off them, is for buses and truck or other heavy weight vehicles. So naturally, we must take LEFT, when we see an ambulance, in order for it to navigate faster. Unless ofcourse the ambulance needs to take the left.

So while we are still on the topic of roads, "Kuththe, Kaminey, Saale, Thuuutherri, Baemani, DonganaKoduka, Prandhan" Sincerely, Thanks sp(i/o)tting Indian drivers on Indian Roads.
Indian logic, Bus Capacity = 50. Conductor yells, 250 rush in. Chances of females getting groped just increased by 250%.

A woman in a scooty over takes your almost triple horsepowered bike? What audacity, War declared. Sexism.

So with this in mind, let me just take this to the topic of rape. Yes, girls wearing provocative clothing ensures she get raped. Let me just agree to this, but I fail to see what provacative clothes a 25 day old baby was wearing to "ask for it". No diapers. Damn son.

 I do agree when girls drink, we can loose control too. Just like men. A woman can get raped, how about a man raping when he is out of control, when drunk? Justifiable? If when a woman drinks it's wrong. It is wrong when a man drinks too. We beg equality. Don't give us special status please.

Feminism all over the world means, Woman = Man. However, Feminism in the minds of average Indian is Feminism = Woman> Man. Another common misconception among us that men cannot be feminists. ANY PERSON who feels like both the genders are EQUAL is a Feminist.
We do not want you to hold our doors, we don't wish for you to pay our bills, We do not expect you to pay for getting married. We aren't " man haters". We just need balance. Please don't miss our calls.

Woman are atleast recognised. I pity those transgenders. Some of whom have had to forgo their "supreme birth right" of being born a boy. It's like fighting an internal war, your heart and mind says you are a girl while you have a body, hanging in shame without the ability to stand up, of a man, or when a man stuck in a girl's body. After breaking out of this struggle, which we fail to recognise, we fail even more, by not having even basic necessities as restrooms for the third gender. We fail to see that they are human too, with aspirations, goals and the hunger to win, much MUCH more than what we do. We fail to provide them with job when they tackle their houses, they brave humiliations and finish degrees and become graduates. When we can find a girl with whom we don't have any mutual friend and message her with a very unflattering poem or "Hi u beauty, wanna b me lady?", But fail to provide basic respect to these ladies who want and crave for our affection.

We fail, as a society, What's the use of the 90% now?


Nitish Tiwary said...

Very good written post. All issuse are valid.

Through the magnifying glass said...
This comment has been removed by the author. said...

Your humor is your greatest asset, rust me! Keep writing stuff like this. I'd suggest you to use metaphors while being sarcastic. That way, it will be more interesting to read! Totally loved this :) What's the name of the one who has written this?

Through the magnifying glass said...

Hey :) Thank you for your comments, Will keep in mind the use of metaphors! Do keep following this page for new posts. One is coming in a few hours. :) Thanks!

Through the magnifying glass said...

Thank you for your comments, much appreciated. :)